Poemae Qui Aperio » Miscellaneous

Grey

Rae — Sun, 23 Aug 2009 11:55:19 +0000

*** This poem was written by a friend of mine who gave me permission to post it. I am sure that those who read it, at some point in their lives, have perhaps felt some of the same things. Thanks Trusty Sidekick. ***

I’m not depressed, I’m disappointed,

I’m not bored, I’m underwhelmed,

The ship of life has sailed without me,

I am not there at the helm.

I’m not plain, but I’m not pretty,

I’m not old, but youth has passed,

And life doesn’t hand out ribbons

To the one who’s always last.

I’m not in pain, but I am hurting,

I’m not blind, but I don’t see,

And the world is full of wonder,

But it isn’t meant for me.

I do not want, nor am I wanted,

I exist, but do not live,

And the world wants something from me,

But I have nothing left to give.

I’m not sad, but I’m not happy,

I’m not scared, but I’m not safe,

And it’s not that I don’t love you,

But I wish you’d go away.

I’m alone, but I’m not lonely,

I’m not right, but I’m not wrong,

What doesn’t kill me makes me stronger,

But I’m tired of being strong.

And so I seek the answers,

Do I quit, or do I fight?

Do I give into the darkness,

Or do I step into the light?

- KHM

Angry

Rae — Tue, 09 Jun 2009 19:23:24 +0000

I am feeling very angry today

The clock somehow turned back

Everything in a state of disarray

Somehow I have gotten off track

Where does the confusion reside

And why does it keep returning

Will there eventually come a time

When my mind will stop churning

The battle rages from deep within

I don’t know where to go from here

I now have this great desire to quit

Will everything always be so unclear

I feel as though I am still sinking

No matter how hard I seem to try

I am tired of fighting to stay afloat

This gravity it seems I cannot defy

I am not sure where I want to go

Or even how to try and get there

I don’t know how all of this began

Sometimes I don’t even really care

When the questions do get answered

How will I handle what I will know

Will I wish that I had never asked

Or can I learn how to just let go

We Do Proclaim

Rae — Mon, 08 Jun 2009 16:47:46 +0000

To the body and soul there has been a violation

An outrage was committed without consideration

Thoroughly affected from the deep penetration

It is at ourselves that we do vent our frustration

Into life we thought we were given an invitation

But were actually handed a lasting complication

We were made to feel that we were the causation

And our heart became numb from the realization

Now we stand alone without any explanation

And forever we will search for some salvation

We have succumbed and deadened our desire

Completely dismissing everything that we require

And are much too afraid to question or enquire

We believe we have earned what we did acquire

Now it is all of our yearnings we wish to retire

Wanting to keep our hearts from being under fire

Never wanting to remember what did transpire

The necessity to hide continues to get higher

And all we hope for is to slide under the wire

So we put on our masks and we wear the attire

With a heart that is filled with too much hate

We put up walls so we can be safe in our wait

And hope that our desires will start to abate

Dignity marred is what we don’t want to create

We wish we could erase everything on this slate

And stop the erosion of our fragile mental state

So it’s with strong conviction that we do dictate

That our lives do not become a public debate

The efforts to protect are a very heavy weight

And personal death moves at a very slow rate

None of the responsibility did they claim

So then we believed that we were to blame

We just moved through life without any aim

With fear inside that makes it hard to exclaim

For if we do then nothing will be the same

But now we start to feel like we want to reclaim

And find more definitions and then to rename

It is from our hearts that we do now proclaim

As we learn to acknowledge what we became

That it is not us that should feel the shame

Shit

Rae — Mon, 08 Jun 2009 15:57:03 +0000

It is here that I sit

With all of this shit

Swirling around in my head

It just won’t quit

I want to submit

Everything is filled with dread

I can not remit

All I do is spit

Hanging on a very thin thread

What is this fit

Is the anger legit

I just see everything in red

I move bit by bit

And try to admit

But question where I have been led

I can’t take this shit

I’ve lost my grit

These burdens I wish to shed

Some Days I Envy The Scarecrow

Rae — Mon, 08 Jun 2009 14:34:57 +0000

At the start of a brand new day

My mind wanders far away

Difficult places it goes, I pray

I do not wish to go there today

I do ask, and it ignores my plea

I do not have the desire to see

Past images displayed so vividly

But my mind does not respect me

Afternoon comes, will it stop now

Change the thoughts, show me how

Here they come, I try not to allow

It is through them that I must plow

Evening comes, maybe time to rest

But my heart pounds hard in my chest

Once again it’s becoming obsessed

This brain, sometimes I detest

Brain, where will you take me tonight

On yet another undesirable flight

I try and try with all my might

I no longer want to fight this fight

Some days I envy the Scarecrow.