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Starting To Fray

on July 2nd, 2009 by Rae

All this frustration that is starting to reign

Comes from things I’ve begun to ascertain

And then from the build up of all this pain

Now I seem to be blind to what I may attain

This ambivalence that I feel is just so strong

I feel that I had choices and I chose wrong

Should I have carried this blame for so long

For these things that I’ve believed all along

I know why the real me has been mislaid

And growth in my heart has been delayed

There are too many prices that I have paid

For all those choices that I thought I made

There are many memories I don’t hold dear

It is into the past I no longer want to peer

I can’t seem to escape these cycles of fear

Or all of the moments I want to disappear

I have had so many days when I have wept

And countless nights that I have not slept

Because of the things I must learn to accept

And so many of the secrets that I have kept

I’ve been trying to avoid all of the disgrace

By not answering many questions that I face

I still resent the things that have taken place

And this new advice I can’t seem to embrace

I think that my emotions are leading me astray

I don’t know how to make this hurt go away

And even though I manage to hold on everyday

It feels like my fabric is starting to fray

| Posted in Fear, Heart & Soul, Pain & Sorrow, Shame