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Introspection

on June 25th, 2009 by Rae

Introspection continues to bring more pain

It keeps pushing us to an unsatisfied place

Where others who’ve also been dishonored

Have the same lingering fear of disgrace

There are many who have felt this shame

And it should not have been ours to feel

So much has been taken from our hearts

Things that no one had any right to steal

Our hearts have become difficult to reach

And now they are always kept on guard

Trying to push back the pain remembered

Makes learning how to trust again so hard

Choices made in response are confronted

As well as strategies we’ve devised to deal

Yet the barriers that we’ve carefully created

Refuse to come down and allow us to heal

What’s left in this supposedly secure world

Are hearts that are broken and overthrown

Desperate to find a way to shut it all out

Firmly believing that we can hold our own

We are filled with rebellious independence

We’ve been committed to self protection

Thinking we are keeping our hearts safe

We keep resisting any type of a connection

It violates all of our natural understanding

This act of giving up life in order to find it

But we must learn how to be alive again

Even when our hearts try to get us to quit

| Posted in Fear, Heart & Soul, Pain & Sorrow, Shame

Cheryl says:

July 11, 2009 at 07:36

I used to think that independence was a strength, because who can tolerate the needy person, after all. And as time progresses I am forced to see how independence can in essence kill, or at the very least, minimize desire. To walk alone in strength is to deny needing others and what they may have for us. And so “rebellious independence” is the absolute necessary ingredient to “self protection”, and “resisting any type of connection”. I just find it so curious that what I had considered a strength, you have deemed rebellious.