All I Have Missed

 

My soul has been battered and scarred

And my heart I am desperate to protect

I feel that I can’t take any more chances

Because I just don’t know what to expect

 

I have learned from my past experiences

That judgment almost always does come

And I never know what shape it might take

It could be a word or a look from some

 

It doesn’t matter how it gets delivered

Because the pain felt is always the same

The fear continues to get bigger inside

With deeper feelings of doubt and shame

 

And then when it is all over and done

I am standing alone mindless and abused

I have no ability to pick up all the pieces

I feel like everything has been misused

 

I just can’t seem to find the courage

To let my heart become known again

Or trust that it will not be struck down

And then left to feel the familiar pain

 

But I have been betrayed by desire

It has been pushing me not to forget

It keeps sending me many reminders

Not to make choices that I will regret

 

It has taken time to find ones to ask

And determine if I should then confide

I do hope that they will not turn away

Then leave me standing alone outside

 

Through my searching I have learned

That these hearts I thought didn’t exist

Have been waiting for me all along

And are showing me all I have missed

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| Posted in Change & Growth, Desire, Fear, Heart & Soul, Shame